


I Want You Here

by SPNxBookworm



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Avengers, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Deaf Clint Barton, Established Relationship, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Kidnapped Bucky Barnes, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Clint Barton, Rescue Missions, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, tortured bucky barnes, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 10:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18848974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPNxBookworm/pseuds/SPNxBookworm
Summary: Have you ever had someone pick your brain and play? Pull you out, stuff something else in. Do you know what it's like to be unmade?He glares at the man standing before him, refusing to show fear, even though he knows within him that he’s absolutely terrified.Not for himself, but for those that will end up standing in his way if he shifts, if he becomes the Winter Soldier again.He doesn’t want to hope, but it’s all he has. And he hopes and hopes and hopes that the Avengers, that Clint, finds him before he can hurt anyone.





	I Want You Here

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this was supposed to be a one-shot but my brain had other ideas so I'm turning this into a chapter fic. I've legit written this first chapter at work. 
> 
> I can't promise frequent updates, but I really want this story to be written so I'll try and update as much as I can. 
> 
> I do have to mention, Civil War doesn't turn out the way it did in the MCU. In this fic, while there is a fight for the accords and what not, Tony is aware of Bucky's past and so the show down in Siberia never happens. Peace is made. I haven't decided if I wanna elaborate on it within the fic yet so we'll see. Also, Infinity War and hence Endgame never take place within this story. I like the Avengers when they get along. Now it's just with the addition of Bucky. *shrugs* 
> 
> Either way, I hope you all enjoy! It's only my second ever winterhawk fic so please be nice ^^;

_Have you ever had someone pick your brain and play? Pull you out, stuff something else in. Do you know what it's like to be unmade?_

Bucky remembers these words clear as day as he takes in one heaving breath after another, still fighting in vain against his restraints.

His jaw smarts from clenching around the dirty rag in his mouth, his right wrist aches from tugging at the metal restraints along with his left shoulder, right where flesh meets the cold, titanium alloy of his prosthetic. 

And he doesn’t even want to think about his head which feels like it’s been put through a meat grinder and then rammed over and over by a truck.

He glares at the man standing before him, refusing to show fear, even though he knows within him that he’s absolutely _terrified._

Not for himself, but for those that will end up standing in his way if he shifts, if he becomes the Winter Soldier again.

He doesn’t want to hope, but it’s all he has. And he hopes and hopes and hopes that the Avengers, that Clint, finds him before he can hurt anyone.

He honestly doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be able to hold up. He's lost count around hour fifteen so for all he knows it's either been minutes or hours or days since then. There are no windows within the thick metal walls that surround him. 

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. One. Freight car._

The man in front of him rattles off in Russian. Bucky tenses, closing his eyes and envisioning everything he’s done with Tony and his B.A.R.F. technology to make sure he won’t turn. That those sequence of words will never cause him to hurt anyone else ever again.

His breathing quickens as he feels decades of conditioning starting to slip through. He starts to feel his own mind fight against his own free will.

Each word makes his resolve shift ever so slightly. It frightens him to his core.

“Good morning, Soldier,” says the man in Russian, looking at him expectantly as he removes the rag from Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky stays silent, his eyes shut tightly. His brain screams at him to respond - ready to comply, readyreadyready _ready._

Don’t comply, don’t comply, don’t comply - Bucky fights. 

“Good morning, Soldier,” repeats the man, this time with an edge to his tone.

“Fuck you,” Bucky hisses through his teeth, still feeling the strain it's taking to fight against his own mind. He can't help but grin inwardly, however, knowing that he's resisting. 

Tony would be proud. Hell, Steve would be proud. 

_Clint_ would be proud. 

The man takes a deep breath, and Bucky can read the anger and frustration within his body language. He then walks over to the console that operates the dreaded metal chair that Bucky’s strapped to, the one that haunts his nightmares to this day.

Bucky braces himself as the dial is turned up. His arms go taut within his restraints, his feet locked at his ankles tremble within their cuffs. 

He’s unable to keep from crying out loud. This time, the rag isn’t there to muffle his screams of agony as the current assaults his body and mind.

If only someone were around to hear them. 

“I do know what it’s like to be unmade,” he’d said to Clint that night, when they’d both been plagued by nightmares and Clint had said the same thing he’d voiced to Natasha in the helicarrier when Loki had taken over his mind. 

That night had been the start of a relationship that Bucky could never have foreseen.

The pain assaulting his body stops and he sags within his restraints, his body too overstimulated and sore to move.

“Clint,” he whispers as the man starts reciting the sequence of words Bucky knows he'll never forget. 

“Clint,” he chokes, as his vision swims, his peripherals darkening.

“Clint,” he mouths as darkness consumes him whole.

**Author's Note:**

> I will update as soon as I can! 
> 
> As always, reviews are love! I'd love to hear what you thought! It keeps me going!


End file.
